279: Dear midlife woman…


A large majority of my clients and Rumble & Rise members are women between the ages of 40-60.

And I absolutely adore working with this population because during these years a woman is often in the throes of managing the most stress while simultaneously enduring the decline of hormones that actually help her to manage stress.

It can be a very frustrating and disorienting time.

It can also be an incredibly liberating and powerful time.

In this episode of the Grace & Grit podcast, I share a love letter to the midlife woman who may be rumbling hard right now. If that’s you, take 10 and listen to this episode.

Dear midlife woman...

Transcripts are auto-generated.

Welcome to the Grace and Grit Podcast made for women who want their healthiest years to be ahead of them. Not behind them. Join your host Courtney Townley right now. As she breaks down the fairy tale health story, you have been chasing all of your life, indispensable action steps and lasting change.

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Grace & Grit Podcast. This is your host, Courtney Townley, as always thank you for being here. So recently, I have been working with a coach on the messaging in my business. And she recently asked me to do a little exercise, which was essentially answering the question, what would you want to say, to a roomful of 100, of your ideal clients? And my first thought was, well, I have a Podcast of 278 episodes that speak precisely to what I would want to say. But my second thought was, alright, Courtney 278 episodes is a lot of episodes for someone to shuffle through to get clear on your message.

So I sat down, to summarize as best I could the heart of the work that I do. And it took shape as a love letter that I’d like to read to you today. Before I do, I would invite you to pause whatever you’re doing, to sit down, settle in, and just be fully here for a few minutes. It’s not very long. And if it lands for you, please feel free to spread it like wildfire. Because I believe there are many, many women out there who would benefit from hearing this message. Here it is.

To the woman who has entered the midlife arena. I know you’re busy. But listen up. You are being presented with a life-altering opportunity. And it would be tragic for you to miss it.

Midlife is perhaps one of the most important junctures you will cross in your lifetime. The choices you make now will leave an indelible print on the rest of your story. counter to the lies that you’ve been sold.

This is not the time to fade into the backdrop. No, it is time to stand center stage in your life boldly, proudly, and unapologetically. And to do that, you are going to have to make some very strong decisions about a few things that I have a sneaking suspicion, may be holding you back, weighing you down, and making your travels of late, much harder than they need to be.

Well, what decisions Courtney, you might ask, well, decisions like do I want to spend the rest of my life chasing a version of myself from the past? Or am I ready to decide hard about who I want to be moving forward and go all-in on her?

Do I want to continue to wage this war against my body? Or am I ready to make peace with it? So I can free up the resources I had been spending on it for the things that I’m really here to cause contribute and inspire.

Do I want to keep outsourcing my decisions to people who know better than I do? Or am I ready to start taking ownership for how much I have known all along but was just too afraid to make other people uncomfortable to acknowledge that?

Do I want to continue the never-ending cycle of knowing what I want second guessing marinating and self-doubt and then breaking the promises I make to myself over and over again? Or do I want to commit to building a new cycle of knowing what I want, going after it, fortifying my confidence, and ultimately rebuilding the trust I have in myself?

It is time, Dear woman, to start believing in yourself and to start leading yourself.

And as Brene Brown so eloquently says, “Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers. I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small, I understand that you believed your armor, could help you secure all the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable. But you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”

What’s it going to take for you to show up and be seen? What’s it going to take for you to finally become a fully expressed and fulfilled human?

I don’t know is not an answer. It is an avoidance tactic. You know, you have always known what are you going to have to stop doing?

Might you need to stop being such a jerk to yourself physically, mentally, emotionally?

Maybe you need to stop spending your precious life resources on things that are totally out of alignment with what you say it is you want for your life.

What are you going to have to start doing?

You might need to put more stock in your opinion of yourself and less in what others think of you. You might need to show up for yourself not just when the mood strikes. But every single day.

Look midlife is trying to shake you awake. She will be violent if she has to be because it is go time. It’s time to ditch all the second-guessing time to go all-in on having your own back time to be fully and deeply you.

It’s no coincidence that you are currently living in the most hectic phase of life with the least amount of hormones on board to help you manage your stress.

It’s like the transition into the second act, also known as menopause is nature’s way of telling you that if you don’t make some serious renovations to your life, your house is going to implode.

To keep the stuff that lights you up and feels totally in alignment with who you are at this age and stage of life. Every day. Everything else? Well, it’s gotta go.

If you don’t let go, you are going to create a lot of unnecessary suffering for yourself.

Worse yet, the energy it will take to endure all that needless suffering cannot be used for the things that you truly value and care about.

Your best years are ahead of you, not behind you. If you want them to be if you are willing to shed everything that is weighing you down and finally unpack the wings you’ve been carrying around this entire time.

You can stand on the edge of the precipice for the rest of your life wishing and hoping and someday being. Or you can decide right here right now to take flight.

That is the invitation of midlife. I really hope you choose the ladder.

If that message lands for you, if it resonates in your core, if you need help with making this happen, I know a gal who has made it her mission to help women midlife get out of their own way so they can make the second half the best half that gal is me. And I’ve created a space just for you. You’ve probably heard me talk about it a lot. It’s called Rumble & Rise.

Rumble & Rise is a community of midlife women who are ready to fully show up in their life in the way that they’ve always wanted to. So I am extending an invitation to you to come join us. You can check out all the details by going to graceandgrit.com/readytorumble

I’ll see you again next week.

Thank you for listening to the grace and grit Podcast. It is time to mend the fabric of the female health story. And it starts with you taking radical responsibility for your own self care. You are worth the effort and with a little grace and grit anything is possible.


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