The real work doesn’t actually begin until the novelty starts to fade.


A little over 20 years ago, having recently relocated from Toronto to Boston, I went by my new employer’s house to pick up some paperwork.

Little did I know that I would be meeting my future husband, who happened to be renovating my boss’s kitchen.

The attraction was immediate and mutual and it wasn’t long before we were spending every moment we could together, giddily.

There was work we had to do in the early days of our relationship, of course, but the relationship was so new and exciting and full of promise… it didn’t feel much like work.

Isn’t that so often the case with new commitments?

The real work doesn’t actually begin until the novelty starts to fade.
  • A move across country,
  • Pregnancy losses,
  • Financial challenges,
  • Business launches & crashes,
  • Raising a kid,
  • A diagnosis,
  • The daily rumble of two wildly different personalities,

… and so many other things over the years….presented my husband and me with the opportunity to do some seriously deep work in our relationship.

Why am I telling you this?

Because health is a relationship… the most intimate, long-term relationship you will ever be in.


It is so easy in this day and age to chase “newness” when it comes to measures that will improve your health.

I call this “shiny object syndrome” and shiny object syndrome takes you wide but never deep.

My personal and professional experience has taught me that deep health is not found in a new meal plan or exercise program, but rather on the other side of deep inner work.

What is deep work?

  • Learning to be kind to yourself on your absolute worst days.
  • Learning to forgive yourself for past mistakes.
  • Learning how to show up for yourself, so you can regain trust in yourself.
  • Learning to FEEL your emotions rather than trying to eat them, or drink them or work them away. (which never works, btw)
  • Learning how to like yourself and the way you move through the world.

Deep work is the gateway to deep health and this is the topic of this week’s podcast episode: The Real Work of Deep Health. You can listen here.

The real work doesn’t actually begin until the novelty starts to fade.

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