329: REAL Midlife Magic: Stories from the inside.

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Courtney Townley 0:00
Welcome to the Grace and Grit Podcast made for women who want their healthiest years to be ahead of them. Not behind them. Join your host Courtney Townley right now. As she breaks down the fairy tale health story, you have been chasing all of your life, indispensable action steps and lasting change.

Courtney Townley 0:28
Hello, my friends and welcome to the Grace & Grit Podcast. This is your host, Courtney Townley. So three years ago, I decided to run a little experiment in my business, I started a community called Rumble & Rise, where the primary focus would be to help women develop self leadership skills. So they could fortify their self trust, improve their well being, and really have more confidence to go after the things on their heart. It was an ambitious endeavor, and I had no idea how it was going to turn out. But I was so frustrated by what was being sold to women as a path to live happier and healthier lives, that I decided the experiment was worth failing for. But it didn’t fail. It blossomed. It morphed into something I never could have predicted. And on this episode of The Grace & Grit Podcast I am joined by several women who are daring enough to say yes to my little experiment, and what they have gained from doing so. So have a listen. I hope it inspires you to check out Rumble & Rise. And perhaps more importantly, I hope it inspires you to run your own experiments.

Courtney Townley 1:45
Alright, ladies, welcome to the Grace & Grit Podcast. Thanks for making time to be here today. I’m because there’s four of you. I’m just going to go around and have each of you introduce yourself. Just tell us a little bit about you your name, where you live, maybe what you do for work, and also how long you’ve been a member. And then we’re just going to have a conversation about what it’s like to be a member. So Natalie, why don’t you start? Sure.

Natalie Knight 2:09
So my name is Natalie Knight, and I live in Novato, California. And I am a homeschooling mom of two and I also like to refer to myself as a domestic diva. And I’ve been a member of Rumble & Rise for over three years. Awesome. So good. Now how about you?

Valerie Thompson 2:29
So my name is Valerie Thompson and I live in Alabama. And I first stumbled upon this group because I am a health coach as well. And I love the idea of community. And so I needed support, just like we all do. And so that’s where that’s where I found cheap.

Courtney Townley 2:47
Love it. So good. So last.

Celeste Arambulo 2:51
My name is Celeste and I live in San Diego, California. And I am a physician here and also a competitive middle and long distance runner. And I’ve been a member of the group since it started, which I think was a little over three and a half years ago.

Courtney Townley 3:06
Exactly. Yeah. So longtime member, Stephanie, how about you?

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 3:12
I’m Stephanie Lord-Johnson. I’m an architect. I live in Edwards, Colorado, just outside of Vail, Colorado. And I’ve been a member for not quite a year but like we were just saying joined us consistency code maybe three years ago.

Courtney Townley 3:26
I think it was even longer than that.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 3:30
I think I found my old notebook awhile ago, like maybe I should clean house. But I did find my sheets so I still use those. Yeah, so

Courtney Townley 3:39
awesome. So you’re all midlife women, right? And I think we all know that there are some very unique challenges that come with midlife in that. We’re starting to look at maybe the level of responsibility we have in our life and maybe having to make some hard decisions about what might need to fall away to preserve resources for us. I know a lot of women are renovating at midlife or reinventing at midlife. And I don’t know specifically what brought you into Rumble & Rise, but I would love you to maybe speak to what were you rumbling with specifically? Or another way of considering that question is what problem were you trying to solve? Does anyone want to start? You wanna start? Okay, go ahead, Celeste.

Celeste Arambulo 4:25
I definitely was attracted to the grace and grit Podcast. So I was a longtime listener for that. And I related to the grit portion of it, but not so much the grace portion of it. So I was constantly getting lessons on how I can be more balanced internally with that, and I am a self proclaimed goal setting junkie. I love setting goals. I love going after goals and I enjoy the process. But there’s also a certain point where it’s unsustainable, how much how many goals can you set and how many areas of your life If something’s got to give, and so I was realizing that as I was married and had a full time career and had children and still wanted to compete, the it was just overflowing, it was just too much. So I, what tipped me over the edge to join Rumble & Rise is the culture and the support. And for me in particular was functional goal setting of something that was achievable. Because I knew how to achieve goals, but not in the big picture. If you give me a specific thing, I know how to break that down. But I’m just talking about the balance of life. And that’s what was attractive to me. And that’s what keeps me coming back. Yeah,

Courtney Townley 5:43
it’s interesting, because I can totally relate to what you just said, at the very beginning of sort of the grit coming more easily to you and rumbling with the gray side of it. I mean, that’s, that’s definitely been my rumble throughout my lifetime is giving myself the permission to pull back and the permission to rest and to sometimes not push so hard, which allows me to keep going. So yeah, well said, Who else?

Valerie Thompson 6:06
Yeah, totally. I totally agree with that. That’s part of the beauty of the community, is because you do get to see so many different people come in from all different aspects. And I love to hear, because nobody is afraid of talking out and everybody just is very supportive. And for me, personally, it is the emotional part that we rumble with, right, because no one ever has really given us permission to, you know, be okay with not being okay.

Courtney Townley 6:36
Totally. And Val, do you want to speak a little bit to what brought you into Rumble & Rise because you went through a pretty big life transition?

Valerie Thompson 6:44
Sure, sure. So I was divorced about almost six years ago. And during that time, also, both of my boys left and so I’m an empty nester now. And it’s just kind of left me with Okay, now, what’s next? And I’ve been struggling as far as the emotional aspect of, you know, how much do you move forward? There was a lot of guilt and shame, surrounded by divorce and, you know, always wanting to keep my children protected. But realizing that my kids are 22 and 20 now, and so, sometimes they don’t mean to be as protected as I think they did say yes. And giving myself permission to move on that that was a big thing. Yeah.

Courtney Townley 7:34
Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Stephanie. How about you? What brought you in? Absolutely.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 7:38
You know, I think for me, what’s brought me back back to the group or back in the Rumble & Rise was really just struggling with I’m gonna say straight up stress, or as we say, Rumble & Rise overwhelmed, just constantly trying to keep a, I guess, in my life headed in the right way with a joyous energy because I have an amazing job, but it’s super demanding. And how do I stay at an even keel and I really find that the Rumble & Rise format, like everybody just said, the community is fantastic, but was really helping me manage my life. So I could enjoy it instead of just grunting through and grunting through like, Oh, God, another hard day and other hard day, it was really how do I come back to managing my time, so that I can really enjoy that part. And enjoy my whole life. So that was really my my ramble.

Courtney Townley 8:30
I love that you bring that up, because I think that so many women are wrestling with normalizing the hard, right? That life is hard. And there’s all these responsibilities. And maybe this is just the way it is. And yet also kind of knowing deep down, that there is a joy that we’re missing, and that we kind of deserve and that we want to have in our life in order to make it a really pleasurable experience.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 8:53
I think the other part too, is I mean, I just look at it like, also like fitness, coaching and everything else. There’s this beauty of having a resource group to help your mental state. And it’s like I made a commitment when I signed up that I was going to do two meetings a month, and God bless, we have so many, so it was like two times a month, I should be able to attend to this. So in the same way you were saying that it allows me to push at the other time. So it was it was a really great format. It wasn’t three months or this topic. It’s just this ongoing life coaching that really helps keep me I’m able to be present for everything I want to do.

Courtney Townley 9:30
I love it. And I think Celeste said that word culture, I always say it’s like a culture of practice. It’s like a culture of kind of turning the focus back on yourself to make sure that we’re showing up the way we want to be showing up and to have a community to do that rumbling within. I know for me, even though I’m the sort of the facilitator of it. It gives back to me just as much as well. Natalie, how about you what brought you in?

Natalie Knight 9:54
Like the last I learned about you to the Podcast, and your message really resonated with me II and those sort of, you know, multifaceted areas of, of what health really means, because I had pretty much just viewed health, for the physicality of it. And right before I joined, we had a big transition, we moved my family and I moved from the east coast to California. And at the same time, COVID had just hit, I definitely felt isolated. And what I was searching for was, you know, other women who were looking to make health a priority. And you had started up Rumble & Rise. And so that was one of the boxes that I was able to fix. The other was, I personally was going through a transition with perimenopause, and realizing that I needed to make some hard decisions about my self worth, and I my bandwidth, you know, because I was really hustling for my worth, I had it in my mind that, you know, we had been homeschooling. I had been homeschooling our two kids for a few years by that point. But I was thinking that that wasn’t enough, and all everything else that I do, you know, for our family, and I needed something else. And so I ended up after joining Rumble & Rise, making a hard decision to leave that side hustle, and really focus on who was I like, as a person, and but what it worth meeting me, you know, and so, yeah, that that was probably the two main reasons for joining Rumble & Rise.

Courtney Townley 11:50
Yeah, I’ve said this to you personally before, but it has been so awesome to watch. All the change that has happened to you over the past three years, really, like so many areas that you have rumbled in, and really come out the other side, so much stronger for you. It’s been pretty awesome to witness. Yeah. So our theme in Rumble & Rise this year has been restoring personal power. So I’m really curious for all of you to maybe speak to what that even means to you like what is restoring personal power actually mean for you? I’m gonna go with you, Celeste first.

Celeste Arambulo 12:27
For me, personal power is my own capacity to direct influence my behavior. And I’m a student of behavior change, you know how to change a habit, and I read all the books, but I would get frustrated because there’s certain areas of my life that it wasn’t working. So I mean, I can read as much as I want. And I can fill out all these farms. But it doesn’t, if I don’t practice things, and I don’t get uncomfortable. And I don’t work with some of the the techniques that you share in this group. Change doesn’t happen for me. And so my personal power has been the capacity to be aware and direct my own not only thinking, but the behavior at the end of the day, which gives me the outcome of what I’m looking for. And sometimes it’s accomplishing something. And sometimes it’s not sometimes it’s pulling back that life. So by that grace piece, and I didn’t have that several years ago. Yeah.

Courtney Townley 13:26
So what do you think, maybe given this year, what do you think has been most impactful for you in terms of restoring that personal power for you?

Celeste Arambulo 13:37
In this past year, I’m really putting a lot of focus on training for a marathon. And I haven’t run a marathon in 10 years and I compete on a lot of other levels. And so you have taught me about a priority filter. And so all my decisions need to go through that priority filter because as you shared with me and taught me I have limited time and limited energy and I don’t like to hear that. I don’t I think it’s I’m limitless that’s what I’ve told myself for years I can do anything I put my mind on. But there is there are there are some boundaries and so I’ve been able to go go back to the basics that you teach in The Consistency Code. And if I really want what I say that I want, do I have my is my foundation stable? Am I eating well? Am I sleeping well? Am I managing my mind? Am I you know, nourishing myself? Am I moving in a functional and safe way? And if I have that as a foundation, and the most important thing is managing my mind, I can break through to the other side so it’s helping me say yes to the things I want to and sometimes no are pausing when in the past it was uncomfortable, but it’s like that doesn’t work in my 30 filter, and I know that now. Yeah.

Courtney Townley 14:59
Awesome. Thank you. That’s great. Bow. How about you? What’s pow?

Valerie Thompson 15:05
Pow is I liked a lot of what Celeste said as far as just really going forward and being able, I can identify with being, I don’t know, we like to do it. All right. And so so many times we hear that it’s somebody else’s fault, right? Oh, if they would just, if if they would just do whatever, then I will be able to do what I want to do. And so I think power is about taking back the responsibility. And that’s what it comes back. For me, it’s my responsibility to say what I can and can’t do. And so I had a lot of that people pleaser in me. And it was really difficult for me to set boundaries, because I felt like I was letting people down and said that was power for me to set boundaries.

Courtney Townley 15:57
Love it and be okay with those boundaries. See, okay. Yeah. And maybe be okay with other people’s disappointment about your boundaries? Yeah.

Valerie Thompson 16:05
Yes, yes, yes, this is something that I wish that we could really get to that 20 and 30 year old age group, you know, when they’re first starting out with moms, what a powerful array that would have been,

Courtney Townley 16:19
right. And you said something earlier to that, you know, we want to do it all. And I think that there is a piece of that for sure. Like, we want to work sizable creatures, we want to do all things. But there’s also a pressure that we should do all things. And I think a power comes from really discerning what’s most likely, Celeste was saying what’s most important to me right now at this point in my life, because I do only have so many resources. And so where do I want to dedicate those resources?

Valerie Thompson 16:47
Absolutely, yes.

Courtney Townley 16:50
Great, Stephanie, how about you? What’s power?

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 16:54
My personal my power that I came up with our statement had to do with just being an integrity, you know, as as well as just appointing people and giving hard news. And you know, I’m usually good cop. So being bad cop is not a goal that I’m very comfortable with. However, to end it, I mean, it’s so really to be able to settle in and be in integrity means that I can speak my voice with kindness and heart and joy, but still be strong, because it’s there. It’s all people are just like, suck it up, suck it up. And I’m like, That’s not me. You know, like, I’ll get beat up worse, if I go in with, you know, fists up, because that’s not who I am. So how do I do that? And integrity. And, you know, I mean, it is it’s sometimes it’s the simplest little thing to say, or to say it with grace and kindness, about but still have strength behind it. So that’s really been something I’ve worked a lot on this year. And I just had like, an occasion where I didn’t say something like so benign, literally, like this simplest sentence. And I actually went back and did a whole thought module on it, because I was like, Why at 55? Can I still not just say something like, this is, you know, it’s because it helps take that story away. It’s, well, this is how you did it. And this is the story, you’re telling yourself if you say something negative. So let’s try to start thinking about this different. And a negative comment does not mean you have a negative outcome. And that is really been very helpful to stay in integrity and stay in my power. And it’s to do all the things like bouncing to test set boundaries, or say good things, or whatever it needs to be. But that’s really where I’ve sat. And it’s a really easy word for me to go through. I feel a little funny. Yeah. Okay. That’s because I’m not in integrity. So what do I need to do? What needs to be said? Or how do I need to say it to come back to myself, and feel like I did my best in this?

Courtney Townley 18:44
Yeah, and extending yourself the courtesy of saying it at all, like, I hear you saying, like, saying it with grace and kindness, but also saying it like letting the words leave my mouth. And I think this is a big rumble for so many women is we play nice. We just stay quiet. We don’t say the things that are really on our heart. And then we go and drink or eat or do whatever we’re going to do to try to numb all that friction that comes from not being in integrity in that moment.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 19:14
There’s a huge Grace component, because I was actually thinking when you were asking, like, Why did I join? Well, I had a little bit of a mystery, like, you know, that break down moment where I spoke publicly about something really personal to me. And I didn’t handle it. on a professional level became very personal and emotional and right. It was just a trigger. And it was like, oh my god, I was so embarrassed. I cried at this public meeting. And people were like, Thank God you did. Thank God you did because you got the message across you let it be known. This is personal. This is our home. This is our space. This isn’t you know, and I was like, so it took a lot of work mentally to go, Oh, that was an okay thing. And I’m just learning how to do it. Right. And so the next time I did it got a little better. I’m still a little like, touchy about it, but it’s like it’s instead of it taking me downward. It’s actually been a way to go, well, the only way you’re gonna get better is to do it. And then to work through why you have all these negative connotations for doing that, or crying about it or whatever. And How graceful other people were to me. I didn’t have the same brace for myself.

Courtney Townley 20:15
Yeah, just always fascinating. Yeah. Thanks. Thank you, Natalie, how about you?

Natalie Knight 20:22
Yeah, go to what you were just talking about Courtney. So for me, personal power is self trust and authenticity. So trusting myself that I know what’s right for me, regardless of voices around me. And it took me a long time to get there. Yeah, and living authentically and, you know, having the difficult conversations that need to happen, and pursuing what’s important to me. And trusting that, you know, I’m going to be okay.

Courtney Townley 20:59
Tell me this, like, what, what skill set because I think this that lands, for so many people listening is this lack of self trust. And by the way, especially in the health and wellness space, I see women trusting themselves in a lot of other spaces. But when it comes to their own self care, it’s like, they’re, they don’t trust themselves at all, which is madness to me. And so my question to you is, what skill sets do you think you were missing? That weren’t fostering self trust? Like what has made the difference over the past three years in terms of like skill sets and practices that have helped you re establish that?

Natalie Knight 21:35
Sure. So I mean, The Consistency Code, right, this framework, if you follow it, it reinforces. If I follow through with what I say, is important to me, and realign when I need do, it gives me proof that I’m, I can do it, whatever. Yeah, it trust myself, you know, to do it. So and I would say, you know, the, the accountability challenges that you do, also, because, like the one we just did our full aging, and, you know, you can ask us some tough questions in there, you know, really make us even kind of neat, you know, these are, these questions are necessary to live authentically, you know, and get to a place where you’re showing up for yourself. So, I hope that answered the question. Yes,

Courtney Townley 22:40
for sure. And I think you’re also speaking to just this whole self coaching piece, which is part of the reason I asked you tough questions. I mean, every every companion guide I give you, every course that I teach is always riddled with questions. And that’s very intentional. Because I want you all to have this incredible arsenal for asking yourself good questions, because that’s what self coaching is, right? It’s being willing to ask the difficult question, and also be willing to reveal the answer. And there comes a place a time where it’s like, we don’t I don’t know if we ever perfect that part. But we get so much more comfortable with it. And the byproduct of it is also what you just spoke to, which is self trust. That not only can I ask the question, I can also reveal the answer.

Natalie Knight 23:30
Yes, yes. I’ve also to that point, I definitely have learned the importance of asking myself good questions. So yeah, and even doing that in my relationships. Yeah. Asking good questions. So absolutely. Yeah, totally agree with that.

Courtney Townley 23:51
So what do you think has been the most surprising thing for you inside of Rumble? & Rise, like, what were you maybe not expecting? Or what was a pleasant surprise for you? Hoping I’m Hope it was a pleasant surprise. Stephanie, go ahead. Oh,

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 24:08
there’s so much on every single topic. It blows my mind. Right. Like, I can’t even actually dig into all of it. But I am blown away. Oh, god, that’s the bulk. Oh, okay. Let me go look at that. Look at that. And I find that like, it’s such a great gift because you come in and it’s like, you see, you might be wrestling with something but every month you have a focus, and then some like resonates so hard. And I’ve gotten book recommendations from you podcasts from other members. And I can kind of go down these like little rabbit holes that are fascinating to me. So I feel like there’s this just this beauty of depth. And then you’re like, oh, yeah, that workouts from four years ago, and they were and I’m like what was that we let me go fine. What what movement thing? Yeah, so the depth is insane because I miss it half the time, because I’m doing what like what’s current and then I’m like, Who? Oh god, I should go back and find some of these things. So to me, that was the biggest surprise was the amount. Like, I could go anywhere. And there’s always something for it. Right? Like, yeah. Okay. So I think that for me, that was the biggest step. And then also just like, I think like any group, the ladies are amazing and who shows up and who brings what and some days you’re just blown away by the depth of sharing of people that even if that is not your topic or your rumba, you you walk away just going well, okay. Alrighty. I think I’ll be able to eat my carrots tonight. Yeah, lady just think I can handle my little trouble today. But I mean, so that has really been amazing when people open up at that level, that it changes you even if that’s not your story.

Courtney Townley 25:41
Yeah, I think I think that is such a big piece is kind of normalizing that rumble. And we can’t do that without community. Right, we can’t do that without being vulnerable in front of each other. And I think that the community definitely offers an awesome platform for that. And the other thing that we’d like with how many resources are available, like I’m always, you know, sort of coaching new members, like, don’t use that as a reason to get overwhelmed, use it as sort of a support mechanism, that no matter what I’m rumbling with, there is something here that can help me. And if you need direction from another member, or from me, like certainly, we can lead you to what you need to find. But the process of being inside of Rumble & Rise is really a practice of picking your focus for the month, where are you up leveling yourself this month? Or are you just kind of working on maintaining status quo for yourself? It could be either or, What’s your strategy for doing that? And then let’s use the support materials to help support that right to help feed that. But yeah, it’s definitely you know, even though there’s a lot of resources, we certainly don’t want to overwhelm your brain. And there’s opportunity for that, if you if you let it. Yeah, so good. So last, what was surprising for you,

Celeste Arambulo 27:02
I still think the most surprising thing for me is that in the coaching calls, no matter what people are rumbling with, and they’ll start sharing their story. And I think, well, I don’t have issues with that. I learned something every single time because the strategy behind it, have the mindset and the actions that you need to break through. They’re so relatable for every single thing. I mean, I love my work. So I don’t have issues with my work. But if someone talks about issues with their work, or not being happy or changing jobs, I still tune in and listen, and I learned something each and every time because I can use that strategy in another sphere of my life. And that is absolutely amazing. So that’s probably the number one thing and I will say another thing that’s very important to me and unique in this group, is I’m accepted exactly who I am. Because in other scenarios, okay, you you know, they don’t necessarily want to hear my struggles or my rumbles or Gee, it’s not that bad, or their problems worse or whatever. If it’s important to me, if this is my, my rumble, I can be very honest with it, and be true and authentic to who I am, and feel support from the group not like, well, you know, what are you complaining about? That’s important to me, because there’s other arenas I’ve not felt safe in. And I’ve, you know, my problems are minimized. And it’s my, it’s my problem. It’s my perspective. So I don’t necessarily need to share everything. So I feel very safe in this group, which is important to me and accepted. Yeah.

Courtney Townley 28:42
And that’s important to me, too. So I’m really glad you feel that way. Natalie, how about you? Anything?

Natalie Knight 28:49
Thing? Totally agree with Stephanie and Celeste and just the emphasize? Yeah, we have definitely been surprised by the level of vulnerability and no judgment. Full stop.

Courtney Townley 29:08
Yeah, because really, right. Like we all talk about inside The Consistency Code. Judgment is just going to shut everything down, right, whether it’s coming from yourself or coming from someone else. So everything in this space is like an air of curiosity. Like why do you think that happened? Why do you think you’re showing up like that or not showing up to do the thing that you said you would do? Right and practicing that?

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 29:30
I think also you find out you know, like you say, it may not be your topic, but you’re like, oh my goodness, what? Oh, how can I help or what what are the needs have so much grace so that when you come to your own rumble, or you have no grace for yourself, or we’re all getting better at it? You’re like, oh, maybe I should be as nice as I was listening to this other person tell their story. Like it’s just a Rumble & Rise, you know, or a story we’ve told so I find that like, I you know, I’m like, oh my god, I’m just this person. You’re marvelous. Why are you you know, being so hard Turn on yourself. Yeah. And then I’ll do it exactly. I’ll do my turn to talk and I’ll be exactly as hard myself. So it’s a good moment to practice that little bit of like, Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, I’m not being as nice as like being to the other person just speaking right now. So I Sen do find that

Natalie Knight 30:17
Courtney, meta level of the work both from you during the call one on one, but within the group coaching call environment, but also support from rest of the members. Yeah, yeah. So you definitely, I have definitely felt that the whole time.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 30:33
Yeah, if I just hit on that, again, I mean, Courtney are just fabulous on the live coaching calls, I mean, truly, like your ability to help somebody define a problem, like, I might be defining it one way, but it’s like, that’s not even what the problem is, let’s actually get to the problem. So I think the amount of giving presents that you put into the coaching calls is, it’s very rare, in my opinion of having done different life coaching over the years. And it’s not just I mean, you’ll coach on fitness, and then you’ll jump to the next person that’s in the middle of a divorce. And then, you know, I mean, and like, Celeste was saying it, it’s all applicable. It’s all applicable, whether I’m struggling to get my green juice, and I’m struggling with my relationship. And so you’re coaching on that is so valuable. And to get that twice a month is just, it’s worth a lot. I mean, just to have that mental boost. And when you hear us the questions or phrase, the questions you do you get better at like Natalie said, you just get better at it yourself. Oh, wait a minute, I saw I was gonna ask you this, what would she say? Yeah, well, yeah, it’s

Courtney Townley 31:39
funny, I really appreciate you saying that, because I think you all know this. But I think for the listeners to know as well, I had such a fierce resistance to doing anything in a group environment, like developing consistency code was kind of dipping my toe in the water of that. But building a membership platform was something entirely different because I really had this story that I could never coach somebody on the level in a group that I do privately. And in doing this, this whole process going through this whole experience has completely countered that belief, right? Because what I saw was okay, it’s not just about the way that I’m coaching. But it’s also that you’re all they’re normalizing this conversation and having input and sort of supporting each other through it, too. And I never could have seen the value of that had I not been willing to take the risk of Well, let’s try it. Let’s run the experiment. Let’s see what happens. So this was really a big experiment that I think panned out pretty well. But I had no idea where was gonna go, and I didn’t have a lot of faith in my ability to coach and a group. For that, first.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 32:47
You’ve blown it out of the water, because those two those are the two calls. I tried to book first. Okay, like the group coaching calls. Yeah. And then you know, but then like, you were saying, what’s the surprises randomly? I’m like, Well, you said, you’re gonna do two. So some Saturday mornings, I’ll just jump on one of the life expert coaches, the live, the coaching is exceptional. Great.

Courtney Townley 33:07
Thank you. I appreciate that. Okay, so I have this question, because I know that there’s a lot of people who listen to the Grace & Grit Podcast religiously, and they have for years, like eight years, as long as we’ve been in production, and what would you say is the difference between listening to the Grace & Grit Podcast? Because all of you started there, right? Like you were listening to the Grace & Grit Podcast, and then you kind of got pulled into some something, I think, for all of you is consistency code. But what is the difference between being a listener of the Grace & Grit Podcast and being a member of Rumble? & Rise? Like, how would you explain that to somebody because people listening to the Grace & Grit Podcast, I think do feel that they get a lot of value and a lot of help on that show. So how would you discern between the two? Like, how would you explain the difference?

Celeste Arambulo 33:55
Now it’s

Natalie Knight 33:56
in day, in and day,

Celeste Arambulo 33:58
because I’m telling you, I read the books, I do the studies, I’m in massive leadership workshops, wellness workshops for work. I mean, I’ve literally have done it for years. I’m the wellness expert at work, and it is night and day, because I can read and do my own journaling. It’s like coaching yourself. Yeah, it just, it’s, you know, I don’t I need an outside individual in a group to catch my blind spots. Yeah, because I don’t I can’t see it. i It’s I was continuing to loop the same cycle and saying, I know what to do. I’m just not doing it. I mean, how many times have the women said this in this group? I know what to do. Yeah. And there’s times where I didn’t want to come to the coaching call because I know what to do, and I don’t want to hear it. But it’s it’s showing up and peeling the layer down and being vulnerable. There is nothing like getting into action in hearing it and sometimes I’ve needed to hear it more than three times from you importantly, and so there’s some times where I will hear a message. And I’m like, I know that’s what I need to do. But reading a book and listening to podcasts, so we’ve talked about this is very passive. But if you want to get into action and stay in action, you can’t just do action for a day. You can’t even do it for 30 days. And I keep thinking, Well, you know, at some point, I’m gonna graduate, and maybe I will, but I still find value. I’m my life is still progressing in a way that I wanted to progress by being a part of this group. Yeah, that’s why I haven’t cut loose yet. Yeah. So night and day, in my opinion.

Courtney Townley 35:36
Awesome. So glad to hear that. And I’m glad you spoke to that. Because I was going to ask you three years as a member, why are you still here? And I think that that is a part of it for a lot of people is that we are always evolving and growing, and the tools are still relevant. And so we keep practicing. Natalie, do you want to speak to that? What how would you explain the difference?

Natalie Knight 35:57
Yeah, I mean, it’s the membership group is where the rubber meets the road. Yeah, just like what Phyllis was saying. And, you know, putting these practices into action with accountability and support. And the learning that happens, it’s just very, very different.

Courtney Townley 36:22
Yeah, yeah. I also want to say, though, too, because for all of you on this call, like, you’re all very active members. And I think that is truly what makes the difference, right? Because you could come in to Rumble & Rise as a passive member people do, right, they never come to group coaching calls, they never actually put pen to page on the companion guides, they’re not actually practicing the skill sets, they still have that mentality of coming into the space and just absorbing and somehow by osmosis, it’s going to change them as a human. And you all know that that’s not how it works. So if you do decide to come into the space, we have to make the commitment that I’m actually going to apply the suggested exercises, at least run a medicine experiment to see what works and what doesn’t. So last week, you’re gonna say,

Celeste Arambulo 37:08
I’m glad that you brought that up, because I was thinking of that, as Natalie was talking is, you can, individuals can be a member of Rumble & Rise and be a fly on the wall, you can listen to all the coaching calls, you can listen to everything, you can, you know, download all the all the workbooks and worksheets, you can pick them out or not. But, and there’s been times where I did not want to go to a coaching call, and I said, I’m not going to share, I’m just going to listen, I’m just going to listen, because I wanted to be a participants paid membership, I’m gonna get my money’s worth, I’m gonna show up. And I was like, not going to share. And sure enough, I share and it’s like, doggone it, it pushed me over that little I got uncomfortable. You want to grow, you got to get a little uncomfortable. But it’s in a safe environment. I mean, it couldn’t be any safer. Yeah, but I want to grow, I want to continue to grow. So this is the safest environment to show up and to share and to learn from others to connect with others to support others, you will grow it’s, we’re all moving through this together, but to to be a member and to be passive. It’s, you’re not getting your money’s worth, I’m just gonna say

Courtney Townley 38:17
100% 100% agree,

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 38:19
I think I think to that too, though, just like, listen, I mean, you get a pick. I mean, that’s which works for me, because I can write like I can, my commitment to myself was you got to do two calls a month, period, right? You can pick them you can, there’s enough choices. And that means I participating in those two calls, like some people can make six so make one you could do a worksheet, you could do the challenge that month. So sometimes I do the challenges which are two weeks, which I was laughing because like sometimes I make it to the first weekend and you don’t quite make it back. The rest of it. So sometimes I have to be very specific. No, I’m going to do all two weeks, right like and so it gives me those structures that are really simple to do that. So sometimes on those topics, I do that two week challenge not just because it’s like stay with it, stay with it, think about it again, think about it again, you have to write something which for me is very helpful if I actually write it really registers different in my head in my psyche. So that’s I mean I think that’s what the cool part is is like listen, I may not speak on that one but I’m still I can participate and be active and even if it’s just doing the worksheet or you know nobody there knows if I fill up my timesheet at home but I’m I literally think from four years ago the calendar I have now is because you it was the first time I ever was like well how am I gonna know what I’m going to do this week if I don’t actually schedule this out when am I gonna work out? But it really is that participation and choosing what works for you. That’s why the same before like there’s so many different ways. So you get a pic how does that slide in with this month’s going on and you ask us about our month so I can actually do Look at my own map.

Courtney Townley 40:00
Yeah, I love that you bring that up, because there are so many levels of support inside the community. And everybody learns differently, and everybody’s massive action is going to look very different. The other thing is only you ever know why you’re showing up the way you’re showing up? Right? So I could maybe not see someone on on a group coaching call, but they’re actually not showing up because they’re really leaning into their commitment for the month of like restoration and really kind of doing that work. So I like the thing that I’m always directing us all back to is Do you like the way you’re showing up? How are you showing up? And do you like your reasons? And you know, as a member, as long as you can say, Yes, great. Like they’re just keep doing what you’re doing, keep doing what works for you. But if it’s not working, then maybe consider a different path or trying something else on? Yeah, yeah. Okay. So in closing, like for anyone listening, who might be considering joining Rumble, & Rise, or even if you just have like closing words of something that you would really want to impart on somebody, maybe considering this experience? Is there anything that you want to put out there and no pressure, but I just want to give you the opportunity.

Natalie Knight 41:14
Anyone know, I’ll start I

Celeste Arambulo 41:19
I’m a problem solver. And I’m an over funktioner. And I’ve done a lot of leadership training in my past. And when I first started coming to Rumble & Rise and saw you Courtney in action with some of that individuals, I was absolutely blown away, because they were sharing their story in their problems. And I deal with this at work all the time. And I thought I have no idea I got nothing, I don’t, how can I help them, and you come up with the best perspective on how to shift things around. And I think she’s brilliant, I never would have thought of that. Oh, my gosh. So the way that you gracefully and compassionately lead these women in the right direction that they are defining for themselves is amazing. So that’s one thing I want to say. And I remember, when I first joined, I thought, Oh, I don’t know, I’m pretty frugal, and I you know, I, but I said, let me just give it a couple of months. So I’ll try anything for a couple of months. And if it’s, if I have a good return on investment, okay, but otherwise, I’m very quick to clip the cord. And I’m still coming back, still coming back

Valerie Thompson 42:37
later still here. And I’m still learning.

Celeste Arambulo 42:39
And it’s amazing. When I when I look at how I’m showing up in my life now. I’m pretty proud of it. There’s different ways I want to grow. But I’m not the same. I do not have the same mindset I did a few years ago, with some of my weak spots, I’m able to to have more grace, and I’m able to show up in the way I want to. So it’s been working for me, and I’m just so grateful.

Courtney Townley 43:05
I love it. I’m so grateful you’re here to and I think you just nailed something really powerful there too, which is that life is always going to have friction that’s never going away. But a lot of times we’re contributing in unnecessary ways to the friction. And that’s really the problem we solve and Rumble & Rise is like is this am I contributing a little too much to this rumble? And can I take back some of my power there. And I think all of us have learned that yes, there’s always spaces in places where I could maybe reclaim some power. So this rumble doesn’t feel quite so intense.

Celeste Arambulo 43:40
I have one more story to share, and I will try to be brief. My college age daughter had some academic trouble. And she had she was on probation. And I found out at the last minute. And so I was meeting with her on the phone weekly. And so I wasn’t asking her about what she resumed should go into class or homework or grades. I was literally doing The Consistency Code with her. But she had no idea. So I was asking her the five things. How are you doing with these five things? How are you taking care of herself. So it’s helped me become a better mom to my young women in my life, my young daughters. And then a couple of weeks ago, I’m struggling with my aging mother and challenges with that. And my sister is being in Chicago and I’m in San Diego. And we I was tasked to fill out some medical thing which I had no problem with. And my hand wrote it and my sister said, Well, you know, didn’t you know how to get into the document to type it out? And I said, Well, you know, I was at work, you know, I just I answered the questions. And then I texted them back and I said wise person told me that sometimes it’s okay to do B minus work. And they both were floored. They couldn’t but they were like, exactly exactly because they’re complaining about how overly invested they are in my mother’s care that she doesn’t appreciate but yet they wanted to redo my handwritten work. And I have neat handwriting to type it in. And I was like, oh, perspective, slow down. Just guess what? I’m getting my eight hours of sleep tonight, ladies. So why don’t we do this? You will read ahead. But can I? Yeah. So it has helped me be a better person internally. But I have helped so many other people with the lessons and the wisdom and the practices that I have established over the years. I love so it’s a trickle effect.

Courtney Townley 45:27
Yeah, it is a trickle effect. And I think it’s such a like, to me, it’s such a high compliment that well, you you experience work in a strong enough way, right? It changes your life in a big enough way that then you go out and teach it right? You go out and impart that wisdom to other people, because you know how much it offers relief. And it can and it just and it’s so simple. I mean, that’s the craziest part. So much of this is so simple. And yet, we’re overlooking so much simplicity that’s avail available to us. And we’re going for this really complex, crazy stuff that is keeping us a hot, frustrated mass for lack of a better way of saying it. Anything else anyone wants to say, before we go step? Oh, go ahead, Natalie, and then I’ll come to you, Stephanie. Okay.

Natalie Knight 46:14
Oh, yeah. Knowing that, you know, your main audience, they’re women in life. And what happens in midlife, hormonally? Yeah, during menopause, menopause, okay. It’s a little bit of benefits far outweigh the cost of this group, because there’s so much change happening, both leases, what I’ve experienced for myself, and, you know, my body painting, and the amount of energy that I have to give to things in my life. And, you know, being able to stay solution oriented, having to deal with, in very, you know, we’re often in and, you know, swinging into them, things like that, and not enough spiraling out. And, you know, and knowing that, if you just experiment, they open to what works and, and know that you know, it that you’re gonna be okay, that is keeping an open mind and staying solution oriented, both are, those are things that I learned in this group, I did not have those skills, or coming to this group. And I think they’re so important, especially for this phase of life. I remember on a call was a few months, I guess, after I joined, and I literally broke down on the call. So and at call, I think probably provided me with some kind of platform to like, start really focusing on making some positive changes. Yeah, you know, and again, it wasn’t judgmental, it was supportive. But I had a venue to share this with. And like, so let’s have said I felt safe to do so. And I was able to move on. So,

Courtney Townley 48:25
yeah, so good. And so important, right, because I think there’s so much opportunity to contribute to the stress bucket at midlife, not only with our life, and how it’s kind of rolling, but then we have this horrid whole hormonal piece added to it. But if women aren’t armed with the skill sets, the type of skill sets that we work on in this community, we end up contributing to the stress bucket even more, rather than starting to unpack it. Right? Because we’re drinking our stress away. And we’re kind of numbing out and we’re being super reactive and avoiding the real work. And yes, it’s work. But I always say it’s going to be work either way. Right? You can have the work of being miserable and feeling totally out of control. Or you can do the work that’s actually going to help you to find solid footing again.

Natalie Knight 49:16
So, yeah.

Courtney Townley 49:18
Awesome. Stephanie.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 49:20
If, you know, as I love listening to your Podcast, I can say, as many I listened to lots of them. And so if people are on the fence, I’m a little bit like Celeste, I was like, okay, it wasn’t about your value was about my own commitment. I want to do three months. And I’m going to hit these two meetings, and I’m going to demonstrate to myself that I can do this. So what a awesome thing. I only I didn’t have to commit beyond a month. But I in my own head said, I’m going to do three months and I’m going to hit these and I’m going to say how I feel at the end. So back to that like there’s a way to make it work for yourself. So that wasn’t really I didn’t have to sign up for a year. I didn’t have to like commit to whatever you know, it was Like, No, I’m just committing to this, and I’m gonna make my own commitment to myself. I didn’t, I didn’t talk to you about it at all. This is my commandment, this is what I’m doing. But the other thing I’d say is like the difference between the Podcast and being in Rumble & Rise, I couldn’t. I was in Switzerland with my mom on a tour looking through a bus window. And it was stunning. And it was beautiful. I’ve gone back and I’ve hiked, the hiking was way better than looking through the bus window. Yeah, both beautiful. And that’s what I think the differences between the Podcast and the Rumble & Rise when you’re actually participating in it, in one is just marvelous, and beautiful and great. But it’s not the same as when it comes into your psyche and your being. And that’s what I think the differences between being in the group and just listening to a Podcast because so those are great. Yeah.

Courtney Townley 50:48
You know, what I hear in that, too, is just embodiment. Right? Like when we’re looking through a window, we’re not really in the experience. Yeah, when you’re actually putting rubber to the road. It’s like, it’s visceral. It’s like you’re, and you’re making mistakes, and you’re still in it, and you get to really feel what it’s like to be in the change process.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 51:06
So yeah, it’s very different. So that’d be like, if I was on the fence. That would be the my,

Courtney Townley 51:11
well said, well said. All right, ladies. Well, this was awesome. I so appreciate you making the time. I’m so glad you’re all members. I mean, you definitely contribute to the space in such amazing ways. And yeah, I just I think I’m sure this conversation is going to resonate for a lot of people listening. So thanks for making the time.

Stephanie Lord-Johnson 51:30
Well, we hope that you’ll join, they will be set. Do it just do it. Do it.

Courtney Townley 51:45
If you enjoyed this Podcast today, and you too would like to be a part of a community of women who are learning to rumble with more grace and rise with more ease. I would love you to come join us inside of Rumble & Rise, you can check out all the details and register by going to graceandgrit.com/readytorumble. I hope I see you on the inside

Courtney Townley 52:13
Thank you for listening to the Grace and Grit Podcast. It is time to mend the fabric of the female health story. And it starts with you taking radical responsibility for your own self-care You are worth the effort and with a little grace and grit. Anything is possible