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Courtney Townley 0:00
Welcome to the Grace and Grit Podcast made for women who want their healthiest years to be ahead of them, not behind them. Join your host Courtney Townley right now. As she breaks down the fairy tale health story, you have been chasing all of your life, indispensable action steps and lasting change.
Courtney Townley 0:28
Hello, my friends, and welcome to the Grace & Grit Podcast. This is your host, Courtney Townley. And as always I am grateful. But considering that we are on the doorstep of Thanksgiving here in the US, I want to extend an even larger thank you for being a listener. I know some of you have been around for a really long time. I mean, we’re talking what the Podcast is almost nine years old. And some of you have been around quite literally that long. So if you have been a longtime listener, or even if you’re a brand new listener, I do not take your listenership lightly. And I am ultimately grateful that you are here spending time with me. And if you have never left a review for the show, it is really helpful for us to have those reviews to know that the message is landing and that you are still listening to the Podcast.
Courtney Townley 1:18
It’s always really weird to look at Podcast analytics, because it’s kind of hard to tell how many people are actually listening to your show all the way through. So if you have never left a review, for the Grace & Grit Podcast, I would also appreciate it. So we know that you want us to continue the Podcast. And better yet, we can also get the message out to other people who are looking for podcasts around women’s health, we can let them know that this is a Podcast worth listening to. So it’ll take you two minutes, you can head on over to wherever you download your podcasts from. And some apps only allow you to rate rate the show but other apps will allow you to rate and review the show. So reviews whenever possible are greatly appreciated.
Courtney Townley 2:05
Okay, ready or not the holiday season has arrived. I mean, I think the holiday season arrived in some places almost a month ago. Meaning places like Costco and Home Depot, the stores that I often go into to buy things. And I was just shocked this year that it seemed like Christmas started after the summer ended. So I wasn’t quite ready then. But I definitely am feeling ready now.
Courtney Townley 2:32
Next week is Thanksgiving, I have family coming into the into town to celebrate with us, which I’m really excited about. And I also, as much as I am excited about all the goodness that comes with the holiday season. There’s also a lot of challenge that shows up with the holiday season. And I really want to talk about the latter today, the challenges that show up with the holiday season. And the reason I want to have this conversation is because being in the line of work that I’m in, and working so closely with so many women, I see a pattern every single year. In fact, you’ve probably heard me mention this pattern in previous holiday podcasts.
Courtney Townley 3:14
Women are already living very full lives, they are already running on fumes, they do not need more to do. And yet we then roll into a season where we take on a lot more. And we run an even higher risk of burnout and just copious amounts of stress. So to summarize it, a lot of women are already living in a state of exhaustion and stressed out Miss and then the holidays is just compounding that. And think of all the reasons why.
Courtney Townley 3:47
I mean, we’re always living in a world of sort of entertainment opportunities, socializing opportunities, sugar, alcohol, giving back to our communities. We’re in relationships all the time. But all of this is sort of compounded and exaggerated around the holiday season. So there’s more opportunity to be social, there is more opportunity to eat sugar and drink alcohol, there’s more opportunity to feel the need to give a lot of time energy and attention to other people. There’s more opportunity to sort of deal with the complexities of relationships. And there’s a whole lot more shoulding that rolls into our life. And y’all know what I’m talking about right?
Courtney Townley 4:37
The shoulding sounds like I should buy gifts for everyone. I should send all the Christmas cards. I should have a 45 course meal on Christmas evening. I don’t know that that’s really true. But you know, we we tend to should on ourselves that is the point and undefined all over yourself is never good for your mental All our emotional well being, and undefined is especially thick during the holiday season. And the cost of undefined is pretty immense.
Courtney Townley 5:11
When I should myself into the season or through the season, I end up at the end of the season feeling resentful, feeling exhausted, my body is in a state of a whole lot of dis ease. And I have a very wobbly start to the new year. And it’s not just me, again, working with so many women over the years, I see this pattern play out every year, if we are not intentional. And if we are not making a conscious choice about how we move through the holiday season, we end up in a very depleted state.
Courtney Townley 5:52
So I have a few unconventional reminders for you today as we roll into the start of the season. That just might help you to thrive this year through the season rather than merely survive. And before I go there, I do want to remind you that we have done a lot of holiday episodes around sugar consumption and alcohol and how to socialize in a way where you don’t lose yourself. So it might be worth heading over to Grace & grit.com, clicking on the Podcast page, and then just typing in holidays into the search engine. If you feel like you could use a lot more help than what I’m offering here today to help you get through the holidays with your sanity intact.
Courtney Townley 6:41
So the few unconventional pieces of wisdom I want to give you today are first and foremost, you are an adult, and you get to read aside how you move through the holidays at any time. Just because you have always done something a particular way doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it that way. You get to change your mind about how you approach the season. You can change your mind about anything in your life at any time. That is the beauty of adulthood.
Courtney Townley 7:12
But just because historically, you have always been a really big gift giver, or because you have always thrown these massive holiday parties or you have hosted at a really high level. Just because you’ve always sacrificed your own self care does not mean you have to keep doing that. So why don’t you extend yourself the grace of changing your mind? Because a lot of women understand the value of changing their mind. How refreshing and sort of decompressing, making new decisions might be but they don’t give themselves permission to do it. And why?
Courtney Townley 7:51
Well, my guess if you’re anything like the women I work with, is you’re afraid of disappointing other people. But what I want to invite you to consider is how do you show up with other people, when you are actually resentful about being there in the first place, or about doing the things that you’re doing just to make other people happy, which by the way, you never have that kind of control. You could do all the things that you think would make someone happy. And they could still be unhappy during the holidays, you don’t have that kind of power. I’m not saying that if it’s on your heart to do certain things for people, because it feels genuine, authentic and true to you then by all means do those things.
Courtney Townley 8:38
What I’m referring to are the things that we really don’t want to be doing. But we say yes anyway, because we’re not willing to make other people uncomfortable. So I want to invite you to really consider today, how you want to feel over the next six weeks. How do you want to feel as you travel through the holiday season this year?
Courtney Townley 9:05
And what decisions might you need to make in order to honor that? So if you want to feel calm and peaceful this season, if you want to feel less stressed, if you want to feel more in control of how you show up, or more in control of your own self care, what decisions might you need to make in order to honor that?
Courtney Townley 9:32
So again, my unconventional wisdom, piece of advice. One is you’re an adult, and you get to read aside at any time. The second thing I want to remind you of today is what brings you joy will not always look the same. But man do we expect it to and when we expect it to always look the same. We always put our joy in the same box It can come at a huge expense to our mental and emotional well being, and even our physical well being. So again, just because you’ve hosted huge gatherings one year, and that brought you joy, or maybe you did it for a bunch of years, and it brought you joy.
Courtney Townley 10:15
Maybe that isn’t what’s going to bring you joy this year. Joy might look like being fully present with family and friends, because you’re drinking less alcohol. Right?
Courtney Townley 10:31
Joy might look like eating out on Christmas Eve, so you don’t have to cook dinner. That joy might look like reading books and taking lots of naps. It is worth considering what truly if you are radically honest with yourself, what really truly will bring you joy this season. And don’t look at the past for evidence. Because you are not the same person you were even one year ago. So meeting yourself right where you are at today at this age and stage of your life. What do you think will bring you joy this season.
Courtney Townley 11:13
And I want to kind of give you a little side note here on Joy, I find I have done this in through many different phases of my life. And I have witnessed many of my clients do this, where joy comes in to our life in ways that we don’t necessarily expect it to. Like we have, like really enjoy something about the season. That wasn’t expected. Maybe we just have a reconnection in a relationship. Or maybe we just for some reason really enjoy the holiday decorations this year, right, putting those up and sort of looking at them and appreciating them.
Courtney Townley 11:53
And when joy comes in, ladies, we are really awesome at cutting our joy short or not even really acknowledging it. And I want to challenge you this season, to take time to acknowledge and experience and ride out the waves of joy that come because they do come. But we’re often so busy or so used to pushing our own joy aside, that we don’t even give ourselves permission to feel it. Or if we give ourselves permission, we don’t give ourselves permission for very long. So what might truly light you up this holiday season, definitely worth a consideration.
Courtney Townley 12:41
And the third piece of advice that I have for you on moving through this holiday season with a little bit more ease and grace is simply this. It’s simple, but it’s powerful. How you finish the year is how you will start the year. Please stop kidding yourself. That everything is going to change come January 1. Because it won’t.
Courtney Townley 13:10
If you dismiss your own self care, your own mental, emotional and physical health. Over the next six weeks, you are going to feel like hell come January 1, or worse yet, you’re going to be sick. And I’m going to ask you this question because it kind of just helps to highlight the absurdity of this, that we can throw all caution to the wind, and then show up really powerfully to take on all the things we want to accomplish in the new year come January 1.
Courtney Townley 13:46
Can you imagine showing up at the base of Everest? Having tossed all of your self care out the window for the previous six weeks? Of course not. You know that that would be insane. That for you to take make a climb like Mount Everest. There is no way you could dismiss your own self care in the weeks leading up to that climb.
Courtney Townley 14:16
This is exactly how we approach the new year. We have big plans for what we want to accomplish in the new year things we want to change challenges we want to work out. But we’re arriving at base camp of the new year with a holiday hangover. Sick and tired because of the way that we approach the holiday season. It’s not a great way to get traction in the new year. So what would the holiday season look like for you if you moved through it in a way that actually reflected how you want to feel?
Courtney Townley 14:55
Come January 1 that it would look a lot different than maybe how you’ve handled the holidays in the past. And again, yes, it is going to require that you risk disappointing some people, that you lean into the discomfort of making new choices that you’ve stopped kidding yourself that the holidays always need to look the same in order to bring you joy. In fact, I think that’s a way that a lot of us Rob ourselves of joy. So this is my wish for you this holiday season.
Courtney Townley 15:30
Number one, that you allow yourself to make decisions to keep you well from soul to soul. And those decisions that you need to make are going to be different than the decisions that I need to make. No one can tell you what those decisions are. But you know, if you go in and you inquire, you spend a little time asking yourself some good questions. You know, what decisions you need to make to get through this holiday season feeling well, you might not like the answers you find. But you do know.
Courtney Townley 16:03
Secondly, my wish for you this holiday season is that you allow yourself more joy, whatever that looks like for you this season. Again, it’s going to be different for you than it is for me. Look for bread crumbs of joy, get curious about what brings you joy right now what would bring you joy right now and design your season based on that.
Courtney Townley 16:30
And thirdly, my wish for you this season is that you finish the year with a little something or maybe a little more than a little something in the tank to propel you into the new year with ease and grace. Thank you again so much for your listenership and I am wishing you and your loved ones a very safe and nourishing holiday season. I’ll see you again soon. Take care.
Courtney Townley 17:02
Thank you for listening to the Grace and Grit Podcast. It is time to mend the fabric of the female health story. And it starts with you taking radical responsibility for your own self care. You are worth the effort and with a little grace and grit anything is possible.
